No time for myself

For the longest time I paid no attention to the comment “people are the what they were brought up.” It sounded a little arrogant to be and irresponsible you could say, but I believe it in all it’s truth. I will admit I give people a lot more credit than they deserve. Whether they are near or far, a friend or a stranger, I’ve always been one to believe that for the most part people can see right from wrong, act on it and create something new and beautiful; a life worthy of living. I am truthfully sad to say this isn’t always the case. Day by day I am learning not to lose hope in people but to recognize we are not the same. I have always struggled with comparing my way of life to others, not openly but to my parents. They have told me since high school that people aren’t going to live the way I do or be the way I am, all of this is good but also can be heartbreaking. Sometimes the love and passion we put into things isn’t understood by those who do not understand our ways of life. I could live the purest and most humbling life there is to live and people could see this, admire it, but still never care enough to understand; possibly not have the want to understand it at that. It’s a weird and oddly put concept I am trying to portray for you but stick with me. Sometimes I am so busy with life that I have no time for myself. Yes, I make time for myself but think harder than this comment, some people are brought up to only make time for themselves. This quality seems horrendous and you are all checking your previous encounters with me wondering if you’ve done me wrong, I am here to tell you this isn’t about hurting anyone rather than hopefully wake those around me from the slumber of themselves. Religious or not, what is a life that isn’t given to the ones you love? I want to know truthfully, what does it feel like going to sleep having done nothing to benefit someone else? I understand there are quotes and sayings that we should do things each day that help others, make someone else’s day, etc. I understand the need or thought that we should do things as often as possible for others but none of this matters if there is no want. It starts with the most basic everyday actions. Are you taking into consideration how your actions effect the people around you? Have your words been stretched around your own body and seen if you could survive them? Sometimes daggers come in small packages and short sentences. Not all things we do are meant to harm but what if we could change the way we think and act on our thoughts to have a better understanding of our domino effects on those around us? When do you stop thin king of yourself long enough to realize this universe is not functioning on your schedule? My words may seem sharp and cruel but this is such a problem and I hate to say it but especially for people my age. We’ve been fed the bread imprinted with the words “these are your selfish years.” No year is good spent selfishly just like no day is. We have to take a step off of our high horses and realize no matter how we were or were not raised, does not account for the human we water day in and day out. This is aside from mental incapabilities or disabilities, traumas and all others that can act as a road block. This is down to the single fact that we are so capable of being anything we want to be and why is it so hard for people to get out of their own world long enough to take a walk in mine? From my heart I will always believe no matter what we came from or are coming to, we have a choice to be a certain type of human for those around us. If you know me or my heart at all then you know all I do is done for the ones I love. I am selfish sometimes and I have no problem admitting this, but I find no hate in my heart for trying to be less selfish. Taking a step back is necessary and no, I don’t believe it’s healthy to be about yourself everyday of the year. We are bread by different passions who have done their best I assume but there comes a time when you realize all that is done for you and all that can be done in return.The world revolves around none of us and owes us absolutely nothing. The people around you deserve to be loved and treated right. Remind yourself the view isn’t always the best being above everyone and make less time for yourself and more time for your heart.


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